NBC says 4th place is the new 1st

by Paul William Tenny

nbc.jpgNBC is just full of crazy all of the sudden, have you noticed that? Jeff Zucker is trying to convince people that ratings don't matter anymore, and Ben Silverman thinks we'll all be streaming our TV shows over the Internet in about 15 years. Forget for a moment that the Internet couldn't possibly handle that kind of load, that most people's broadband connections can't handle that load, and that something like 1/3rd to half this country doesn't even have broadband right now (and aren't projected to for a very long time, if ever.) Instead, we'll just let that one slide since Silverman is a snake oil salesman by trade (read: reality TV producer) who doesn't understand what he's talking about and is just trying to get his name in print. Mission accomplished buddy, your name is right there in the dictionary, under "retard."

Zucker on the other hand is more desperate and lacking credibility than he may be crazy, but still, it's pretty sad to see people act like this. NBC is in last place and is probably going to stay there for a while, and their plan to get back on top amounts to little more than standing on their heads so that they look like their on top but really aren't. That's not cute, or imaginative, Jeff. It's what losers to do justify their lessened existence rather than facing up to their inability to be totally awesome, like Michael Bay. What Zucker needs is some awesome shows with awesome explosions and awesome ratings, perhaps some new reality show where Ben Silverman fights with an awesome polar bear (to make fun of Lost and CBS) with awesome flaming swords.

After every round where Ben Silverman doesn't die, people can vote on which weapons to take away from his initial arsenal until finally, there are none left at all (to make fun of American Idol and Fox!)

I'm on the phone selling this to ABC as I write this. They love it, but wonder if I can replace Ben Silverman with a hot cheerleader, and the polar bear with a guy that can fly, and..wait a minute..
in Television


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