Michael Bay penned 'Transformers 2' during strike

by Paul William Tenny

michael-bay.jpgYou can read other peoples thoughts on this here, here, here, and here, but you didn't come here for their thoughts, now did you? Look, I'm willing to give just about anyone the benefit of the doubt when they are trying something new, but I'm not a sucker willing to fall face first on the floor without making sure there's somebody else already down there that I can land on.

In other words, before I'd ever give the nod to Michael Bay writing his own scripts, a couple of things would have to happen first to reassure me that he's serious and dedicated to the task.

With the kinds of movies this guy makes, it's a difficult pill to swallow even then, but everyone deserves a fair shake. Even Michael Bay -- maybe.
Before I go blather on about what I'd like to see happen, I think it's important to note that the last I had heard, there was no script for a Transformers sequel when the strike began, which means that Michael Bay who I guess has never written a real script before in his life, sat at home during the writers strike, writing a script.

That makes him an indisputable douche bag and a scab, plain and simple. It's worse than he has been bragging about it, and I sincerely hope the Writers Guild gives him absolute hell for it when it crosses their desk for credit arbitration.

It figures that the thing Bay is most excited about in his script is that there will be even more CGI robots than before. So yeah, he's not thrilled with the story, the depth of his characters, the great twist at the end, or even that he managed to spell his own name right. He wrote even MORE robots into this one with even MORE EXPLOSIONS and MORE ACTION and TONS OF GUNFIRE and RAPID CAMERA MOVEMENT.

I can't wait..

Here's are the things I'd like to see happen before I'll give Bay a fair shake:

  • Apologize to all writers everywhere for writing during a god damned writers' strike.
  • Let somebody else direct the film.
  • Don't hand the script off to the "pros" who were striking for their jobs while you scabbed. Anyone can write crap and just hand it off to the next guy.
  • Turn in a script that can be shot for under $100 million.
  • Turn in a script with more human beings (leads -- crowds that get stomped to death, blown up, or otherwise dispatched don't count) than CGI robots.
  • Don't take a producer credit so you'll be subject to being rewritten if you produce crap.
That's a good start, but it'll never happen. As the director, Bay could write the biggest piece of crap known to man and he'd still be the one in charge of approving it (generally speaking.) By doing a draft and then pawning it off on real writers to make it not suck (which shockingly didn't work the first time they tried it) is weak. To pen that draft during a writers' strike is pathetic.

I'll give the guy a shot, but not unless he takes off the directors armor and makes this real. It's not so easy when you aren't your own boss.
in Film


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