Bionic Woman Takes a Bionic Crap

by Paul William Tenny

bionic-woman.jpgThis show's title is perfectly designed for the most amount of useless puns and unclever jokes..I love it. Unfortunately if you put me in a room with NBC, then I'm the only one in that little world having any fun. In fact, one of us probably wants to jump off a cliff, and honey, it ain't me.

Bionic Woman in the span of a week went from the networks best rated fall drama to middle-of-the-pack, says the ratings gurus, though the loss is not nearly as bad as Cavemen. Gee, would would have thought a comedy based on the most annoying Geico commercials every produced wouldn't pan out? Maybe networks should hire a couple of people whose only job is to decide what shows might suck, and which ones might be really great. We'll call them "development executives", and the first requirement for holding such a job is a proven understanding of what resonates with people rather than sexually exciting the wallets of car insurance companies when you license their retarded property rights.

The retrofitted remake averaged 11.1 million viewers (26th place), per the latest Nielsen Media Research rankings. That was a better showing than all but two new fall series, but it was a far worse showing than the nearly 14 million viewers Bionic Woman averaged for its debut.

Among the networks' prized 18- to 49-year-old viewers, Jaime Sommers didn't have any better luck. Her show, which ranked eighth in the demographic last week, fell to 19th, placing below such trendsetters as ABC's Brothers & Sisters and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

There is just a crapload more ratings information in this story if you're interested in that kind of thing. Personally, I don't buy the excuse that the television audience is smaller this year than it was last year as if it makes up for a new show losing a couple of million viewers in a single week.

Smaller sure, but not that small, that fast.
in Television


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