Theater Watch: September 28, 2007

by Paul William Tenny

ce-cellphone.jpgSeven new flicks debuting this weekend although only three are getting a wide release. I'm not terribly familiar with two of them, those being Feast of Love (MGM) opening in 1200 theaters - I've never heard of it. The great and all-knowing (and sometimes deceitful and evil) Wikipedia says of the film, "A meditation on love and its various incarnations, set within a community of friends in Oregon. and is described as an exploration of the magical, mysterious and sometimes painful incarnations of love."

In other words this is the kind of movie that actors love, because it's "artsy", but nobody will go to see. I probably wouldn't waste my time with it until it comes out on DVD, it's not likely to be worth more than a rental.
The Game Plan is another attempt by The Rock to do comedy, and while I think he does an okay job at comedy, the guy needs to find roles that better suit who he is. Sly Stalone and Arnold Schwarzenegger knew they weren't going to win an Oscar trying to do comedy (although that didn't stop the latter of the two from trying) so it's best not to waste time screwing around. Maybe Rock would have been a better pick for Shoot 'Em Up, or perhaps a part in Resident Evil? Hell, since the game Resident Evil didn't revolve around the character Paul W. S. Anderson choose to in his films, it could have been a better choice to have Rock starring in that franchise as the cop (remember the guy posing as a cop in the first film, the one that never shows up again? That was the main character of the game, and he really was a cop.)

Anyway, The Game Plan is about "an American quarterback who plays for the fictional Boston Rebels is known as one of the greatest players in the game. Kingman's lifestyle is soon gone as he discovers a 8-year old daughter of his." Ohh, exciting!

The Kingdom is Michael Mann's latest all-action-and-no-story film that may actually have some semblance of a story after all. Jamie Foxx plays a hot-shot FBI agent sent to Saudi Arabia to investigate some sort of terrorist attack. It's been a while since we've seen the FBI do anything other than get yelled at and dissed, really, ever since Mulder made it too cool to be a special agent.

I don't know about Jamie Foxx, I know he won an Oscar, but I just don't see the talent in the guy, and don't even get me started on Jennifer Garner. That girl needs to get her ass back to doing crappy 'netlet TV shows that are closer to her talent level.

The reason I'm even mentioning The Darjeeling Limited when it is only opening in two theaters this weekend is because everybody in the entertainment section of the blogosphere has been talking about it for like two months non-stop. For those who don't know, this is a touchy-feely from Wes Anderson, and everyone is bowing down to this flick and Anderson like he is some sort of God risen from the sea, and this is his masterpiece. Frankly, nobody even really knows what it's about - it's that kind of flick.

Bunch of people on a train, lots of drama, absolutely zero chance of making money at the box office, but there is an upside to all of this: Anderson shot a 10 minute short that proceeds Limited in which Natalie Portman finally got naked after bitching at her own audience for ten damn years about how "sick" it is that they want to see her naked and how she'll never ever do nudity on-screen. Of course, she did nudity for Closer in which she played a stripper, then whined to her friend-of-the-family director to cut the scenes and burn them (he did.) Now she's naked again and still giving fans shit for it.

What is it with that girl, and why did she stop returning my calls???

Your best bet this weekend is: The Kingdom
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