The Scum Report: 2007-09-20

by Paul William Tenny

Even if there is nothing else trashy to report today, this event along is worth sifting through the puke-fulled gutter that is the Hollywood starlets private life. Especially when things get testy.

Hayden Panettiere Will Fucking Kill You
Drop the part that involves me dying and I'd say we've got a date sweetie, but you've really got to consider some anger management classes. I know, you're rich now, and special, everybody loves you and nobody can tell you no. What is it with all this hate on reporters and photographers though? They are just trying to do their jobs and feed their family with their $15 million-per-year paychecks and have really expensive car payments (on 10 different cars and three homes) just like you and me.

As a direct result of a story in US Weekly, precipitated by a question on the red carpet during last weekends Emmy Awards, Miss Hayden reportedly threatened to murder a reporter for daring to ask about her recent break up with...some dude. (It is a well know biological fact that the male mind cannot physically remember the name of their "competition.") was the unbreakable Hayden Panettiere who threatened to "kill" a staffer from Us Weekly over something she wrote about her in a recent issue. Just when it looked like Hayden was about to pull a Sylar on said reporter's skull, her quick-thinking publicist grabbed her and scolded, "Not on the red carpet." It was a classic Hollywood moment -- and one I predict will be streaming all over the Internet by week's end.

+5 points for Hayden quickly realizing that when you're rich, the law doesn't apply to you anymore. -5 points for being stupid enough to threaten another persons life in front of roughly three trillion reporters. -5 points to her handler for telling her "not on the red carpet" as opposed to "it's wrong to threaten to murder people, you little psychopath." (Source)


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