Nothing New Has Happened in the Last 1.5 Seconds

by Paul William Tenny

There is so little of value going on today that I briefly ran my brain through a blender and then drank it to see what it tastes like. That isn't to say there aren't a lot of news items, just that they are all the same crap over and over again that nobody really cares about and if you were forced to read through it all like I just did, you'd probably drown yourself.

Do you care that Resident Evil 3 is out in the theaters this weekend? If so then you'll probably go see it, rather than sitting around all day watching a bunch of new trailers and clips, yeah? So there goes about 15% of the total news today, what else?

Well, Maureen McCormick (Marcia Brady on The Brady Bunch) apparently was borking her on-screen sister way back when. Isn't that swell?

Everybody thinks that Eastern Promises is really good, but nobody is going to see it in the theater. That means it will automatically win an Oscar for something. Speaking of automatic, Mr. Automatic Steven Speilberg is grumpy over being crapped on by Viacom's chief, and may not re-up with DreamWorks. How f***ing stupid is this guy and why is he running Viacom?

Here's some pictures of Hayden Panettiere in a cheerleading outfit, jumping around and doing things that cheerleaders do. Only I don't think cheerleaders make the kind of money Hayden is getting. Mmmmmm, Hayden..

Have a good weekend because next week is premier week and if you aren't well rested, you might just die. I'll grieve for you.


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